Success anxiety: Do you have a fear of failure, or of success? Let’s discover.
Speaking openly and plainly: most people think they’re afraid of failing. And fair enough, failure isn’t exactly a spa day. It stings, it challenges your ego, and it often drags along shame and self doubt like unwelcome party guests.
But here’s the twist: what if failure isn’t the thing that’s stopping you?
What if it’s not the fear of falling flat on your face that’s got you stuck…
What if it’s the fear of standing fully in your power?
Because while failure is scary, success, real, unapologetic, own your space success can be absolutely terrifying.
In Marianne Williamson’s 1992 book, A Return To Love, she wrote the now famous lines often misattributed to Nelson Mandela:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…”
That line cuts straight through. We shrink, we dim our light, we soften our edges, because shining feels dangerous. Success means being seen. And being seen means being judged, envied, or misunderstood.
But here’s the Mooshy truth: shrinking doesn’t protect you. It starves you.
The Safe Comfort of “Almost”
There’s a strange comfort in almost.
Almost ready.
Almost launched.
Almost doing the thing.
Almost being seen.
When you live in “almost,” no one can criticise you. You’re busy, you’re “working on it,” and people applaud your potential. Potential feels safe.
But here’s the trap: living in almost is just a socially acceptable form of hiding.
Hiding isn’t living. It’s fear in disguise, whispering that playing small is logical, practical, responsible. But really, it’s fear in drag. And that drag act keeps you invisible.
The problem? Dreams don’t thrive in almost. They thrive in action.
What Does Success Anxiety Look Like?
Fear of success doesn’t often show up in neon lights. It slips in quietly, hiding behind behaviours that look productive or careful. But really, it’s sabotage in disguise.
Here’s how success anxiety often shows up:
- Self sabotage when things start going well. You ghost opportunities, miss deadlines, or pick fights with yourself just as momentum builds.
- Shrinking your dreams to stay relatable. You tone down your goals so you won’t intimidate anyone.
- Worrying about what people will think if it works. You dread being “too much” or “too different.”
- Delaying the next step. You tell yourself you’re not “ready enough,” even though readiness only comes through doing.
- Preferring dreaming over doing. Fantasising feels fun, but action? Terrifying.
If any of that rings true, you’re not broken. You’re just facing the quieter, trickier sibling of failure fear: success anxiety.
Why Success Can Feel Scarier Than Failure
Strange as it sounds, success can feel more threatening than failure. Here’s why:
- Success raises the bar. Once you succeed, people expect you to stay there. That pressure can feel suffocating.
- Success makes you visible. And visibility means criticism, comparison, and jealousy. Not everyone claps when you win.
- Success disrupts belonging. Growth can change your relationships. Friends and family who once felt safe may suddenly feel distant.
- Success creates responsibility. More income, more clients, more opportunities, all bring new weight.
- Success challenges identity. Who are you when you’re no longer struggling? Sometimes, we’re more comfortable with the version of ourselves that battles than the one that shines.
Sound familiar? That’s why so many of us cling to the “safe suffering” of almost. Overcoming success anxiety isn’t just about confidence, it’s about building resilience and balance. This post on why personal growth is mental health shows how one strengthens the other.
How to Overcome Success Anxiety
Okay, Mooshy friend, it’s time to get practical. Success anxiety doesn’t have to own you. Here’s how to shift out of fear and into freedom:
1. Call It What It Is
Awareness is always the first step. If you keep procrastinating, over prepping, or endlessly tweaking, ask: Am I afraid of failing, or afraid of succeeding? Naming it takes away its shadow power.
2. Reframe Success as Service
Success isn’t about ego; it’s about impact. Every time you succeed, you create ripples, helping, inspiring, or uplifting others. When you frame success as service, it stops being “selfish” and starts being necessary.
3. Expect the Discomfort
Here’s the deal: success won’t feel 100% safe. Growth never does. Instead of waiting for fear to vanish, accept it as part of the process. Success anxiety is just your nervous system saying, “Whoa, new territory!” That doesn’t mean stop… it means stretch.
4. De-shame the Spotlight
Being seen doesn’t make you arrogant, it makes you alive. Remember: Marianne Williamson’s point wasn’t “don’t shine”, it was your shining gives others permission to shine too.
5. Focus on the Next Tiny Step
Instead of obsessing over the whole mountain, ask: What’s one small move I can make today? Send the email. Post the draft. Hit publish. Tiny steps dismantle success anxiety faster than grand gestures.
6. Create Safety Nets
Fear often comes from imagining you’ll be alone at the top. So build your safety nets, mentors, peers, or even a Mooshy minded WhatsApp buddy who reminds you you’re not crazy for dreaming big.
7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
Every step forward is a win. Don’t wait until you “make it” to celebrate. Mark your micro moves. Success anxiety loses power when you treat progress like a party, not a test.
The Truth About “Too Much”
One of the loudest lies success anxiety tells is this: If you shine too bright, people will think you’re too much.
Too ambitious. Too loud. Too confident. Too different. Too Lairy, Too Too Arrogant.
But here’s the flip side: the people who feel threatened by your shine aren’t your people. The right ones will celebrate your glow, not shrink from it.
Your light doesn’t make others smaller. It simply shows what’s possible.
A Mooshy Reminder: Failure Isn’t the Enemy. Hiding Is.
Here’s what most people miss: failing forward is progress. Every “mistake” teaches. Every detour strengthens. Every fall makes you more resilient.
The real danger isn’t failing, it’s never stepping out of almost.
Staying in the safe shadow of potential feels comfortable, but it kills possibility. If you want the fullness of life, the joy, the freedom, the impact, you have to risk being seen.
How Life Looks When You Stop Shrinking
Imagine this:
- You say yes to opportunities without second guessing.
- You launch the project instead of sitting on drafts.
- You raise your rates, apply for the role, or step on the stage.
- You stop apologising for wanting more.
When you move past success anxiety, life expands. Not overnight, not without wobbles, but steadily. You build self trust, resilience, and a new kind of peace, the peace of living aligned with your full potential.
Final Word: Success Isn’t Selfish
The world doesn’t need more dimmed lights. It needs more people willing to stand in their brilliance.
So let me say this directly: your success isn’t selfish. It’s a gift. It’s proof to others that becoming is possible.
Yes, success anxiety is real. But you’re more real.
Choose to leave “almost” behind.
Choose to be seen.
Choose to shine, even if your voice shakes.
Because the truth is: you’re not too much.
You’re enough.
And you’re powerful beyond measure.